By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
