i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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