This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
