I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
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so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
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pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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