Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Alive.
So much puke
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
