she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
it was like eating out sand paper
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
