she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
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not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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