Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
