Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My liver just had a heart attack.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
