Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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