Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
