it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
