Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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