Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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