i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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