i permit you to call me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
