is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize