You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind