a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I need a burrito and a hug.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.