dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch