whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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