I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
