I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
