Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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