Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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