You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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