we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
