i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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