How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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