And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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