Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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