I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
