Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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