I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
