i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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