I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
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Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
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Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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