Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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