Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
