we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
