bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Randomize
