I'm going to jail i love you
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
