the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
