I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
