i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
