Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
