I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
