I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize