You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
