Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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