weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
