this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
