is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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