Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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