I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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