Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
