I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You made out with two different species that night
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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