there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
