dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize