Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
