Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
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