dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize