Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
then he tried to convert me to islam
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
