she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We don't watch enough power rangers
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize