dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
